I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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