She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
