Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
