hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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