where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
