my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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