My underwear smells like fireworks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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