new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
