all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
