Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he thought i was a dude.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
