mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize