im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
