you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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