And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need a beard to bite.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
