my vag is so smooth its legendary
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
