she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
