My room smells like vodka and shame
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize