The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
