I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
