I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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