So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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