Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
