Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
