I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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