Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She told me I should be a condom model.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
