my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize