Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
