I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
