I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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