My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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