i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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