Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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