Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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