is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
