I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
