Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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