I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize