so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
