Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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