note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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