Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
