Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Me. At least after what I've been through.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize