Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
