loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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