Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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