My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
