You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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