lets start a swedish sibling band together
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
