Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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