i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize