I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
