Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
