Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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