She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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