I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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