When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
