Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
