Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
