update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We had sex on a dog bed..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
